Can God, Rain Dancers Stop Dust Bowl In California?

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 14 February 2014

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TULARE, calif. -- California is facing its worst draught in history. It is forcing farmers there to leave idle thousands of acres of fields in the state that supplies almost half of the nation's fruits and vegetables. It has also left 17 rural towns so low on drinking water that is being trucked in.

The drought may make it possible for Republicans to pick up much needed seats in the state legislature. GOP candidates for these offices are blaming Governor Brown for the drought. They do not offer detailed proposals for easing the drought but say, "The governor should have done more."

The exceptions a Bill "Buck" Rawson and George Hanson, running for State Assembly Seats in dry Central California. Rawson and Hanson are demanding that funds from the legislature be made available for rain dancers from the Native American California tribes, the Achomawi and Ventoreno.

"They should be dancing up and down the state. Nothing else has worked," said Buck Rawson. He further suggested bringing in other Native American dancers if that wasn't effective.

"If that doesn't bring water we can call in folks from tribes where men, women and children do the rain dances together."

These suggestions have brought a backlash from some conservative democrats:

"Rawson and Hanson are anti-Christian," said George "Ham" Wilson of Bakersfield. "Governor Brown should declare a state-wide day of prayer so all citizens could go to their churches and pray for rain."

Rabbi Noam Chomsky of Temple Beth-El in Fresno took offense at the way the proposal was stated. "Does this clown think that Jews don't need rain too? We should at least be invited to get into the act."

The ACLU of Southern California has condemned both rain dancing -which is a religious ceremony in the Achomawi and ventoreno tribes - and prayer in churches as a violation of the first amendment to the U.S. constitution.

Meanwhile, California's $45B-a-year agriculture industry is in danger of existing in a modern "dust bowl" era.

So, as politics goes these days, there is much talk of divine intervention to solve severe earthly problems. As the effects of climate change become even more widespread and severe we can expect to hear much more of it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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