Japanese Premier Burned By Pants On Fire

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 26 December 2013

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JAPANESE ATTACK

Yesterday, Prime Minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, paid his "deepest respects" to the war dead at a Shinto shrine in Tokyo. The shrine honors, among others, Class A war criminals from World War II. Some were executed after the war because they committed crimes against humanity.

Previous Japanese Premiers have avoided the shrine because it angers China and South Korea both of whom were victims of Japanese imperialist aggression which included murder of innocent civilians, torture, rape, pillage and other unspeakable acts of sadistic cruelty, including forcing women across Asia into sexual servitude. Premier Abe, despite conclusive evidence to the contrary, denies that Chinese and Korean women were sex slaves.

Abe's visit came at a tense time. Japan is involved in a conflict with China over air space and issues of island ownership. Japan is also fighting with South Korea over separate Islets.

The Japanese Prime Minister defended his visit yesterday saying that he was at the Yasukuni Shrine to "pray for the peace of the world and for reconciliation." He also said that he was there to "honor all who have died in wars in human history." "Make no mistake, I am a man of deep peace," he asserted.

As he left the shrine TV cameras recorded the image of smoke and flames coming from the striped pants of his formal attire.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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