FOX News Outraged That Obamacare Doesn't Cover an Erection That Lasts Over Four Hours

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

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We've all heard the line in commercials for erectile dysfunction: "If you have an erection lasting over four hours, call your physician." But according to Bill O'Rection, of FOX News, don't bother to call Obamacare, which, according to the aging pundit, won't even attempt to dismantle your painful pup tent if your Priapism results from taking too much Tadalafil, more popularly known by its brand name, Cialis.

Reported O'Rection: "Obamacare is not only a disaster for the American people as a whole! It's a disaster for that small but substantial subset of Americans suffering from erectile dysfunction who take too much Tadalafil and end up with the painful condition known as Priapism!"

Asked to support his claim with facts, O'Rection explained, "My brother-in-law Peter in Austin, TX nearly OD'd on Tadalafil and was taken to the emergency room where the attending physician said his condition would not be covered by Obamacare or any other health insurance, for that matter. The attending physician said that Peter's pup tent was self-inflicted and therefore was not a pre-existing condition."

When Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sibelius was asked about this incident, she replied, "That shouldn't have happened. I'm not sure what went wrong with Peter. But in Texas the Affordable Care Act should cover Priapism, whatever its cause, but it will not cover Brewer's Droop which, given the amount of alcohol consumed in the Lone Star State, is not financially feasible."

The outrage on FOX News is expected to go on for at least a couple of more days. However if it continues for another four days, just change the channel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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