GOP's October Surprises...A Haunted House of Representatives

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Saturday, 21 October 2006


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Ralston, Abramoff, and Foley....more skeletons keep coming out of the closet

Washington D.C. October has been a month of frightening Halloween surprises, as skeletons keep falling out of the closets of the Republican controlled House of Representatives. New revelations are emerging about the "Trick or Treat" Teenage House Page program, and nobody is willing to predict how many more GOP Demons and Ghouls will manifest themselves before the election.

Evidence has now emerged that the Republican leadership, for several years, covered up extensive knowledge of Congressman Foley's predatory proclivities. New information is emerging that 1 or 2 more GOP Congressmen may have been involved with male teenage pages, and there are rumors of involvement with a 16-year-old female page.

The GOP "Shock and Awe" campaign continues, as Republican Congressman Bob Ney is on his way to prison for accepting tens of thousands of dollars in illegal gifts from lobbyists. He will be sharing a cell with former GOP Congressman Duke Cunningham, who was convicted of accepting bribes from military contractors.

The GOP has asked Congressman Tan Nguyen to withdraw from the race, after he sent a letter to immigrants, intimidating them, and falsely stating that immigrants are not allowed to vote, and will be jailed if they vote.

At the rate that GOP Congressmen are being asked to resign, by their own party leaders, political analysts believe Democrats are likely to take control of the House based entirely on Republican candidates' withdrawals

Harvard Professor of Political Science, Barney Hampton, commented,"Right now the focus is on the GOP House of Representatives. But lets not forget that this Culture of Corruption starts with Cheney, Bush, and the entire framework of control of the GOP set up by Jack Abramoff"

"With all of the focus on sex, sleaze and slime, the truly scary horror stories have not really been touched on by the media," he added. "In poor communities, Hospitals are facing bankruptcy and closing, due to GOP cutbacks in Medicare programs. The military-industrial complex has succeeded in devouring all of the funding that was intended for our Social Security. The country is $8 trillion in debt, and has long since passed what was the official debt ceiling. And the US has gone from being the "Leader of the Free World", to becoming the country that is most hated for violating The Geneva Conventions, abandoning its commitment to Human Rights, discarding its own Constitution, and abnegating the civilized world's standards for common decency."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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