Britney Spears has a new stalker that's unusual

Written by Evil

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

image for Britney Spears has a new stalker that's unusual
A picture of the stalker found in one of the packages.

Britney Spears' new stalker has been sending her old fruit cakes in the mail, it has been claimed.

The troubled singer who looks 50 has also been receiving "old dentures and used slippers" along with the old fruit cakes. She has reportedly asked the FBI and Los Angeles Police Department to find out who has been sending her the strange items.

DNA test show that the dentures and used slippers belong to different people, and they are of different sizes.

The fruit cakes are in sealed containers and date back to the 1920s; the FBI says they are edible and taste quite delicious. All the fruit cakes are made by the Gethsemani company of 1848.

A source close to the star told America's Gay! magazine: "It started about six weeks ago with just letters being sent once a week. And then it quickly escalated to larger packages that now arrive two to three times a week - always to the same Los Angeles address, but never to one of Britney's homes.

"The first thing you see when you open the box is a huge, dark colored, fruit cake which still has the price tag on it. They all have post cards with the words, "To my beloved wife Bertha."

"Along with the fruit cake, there are two letters - one handwritten and one typed - both with the words "Hello Britney, my name is Matilda Spears" The handwritten one is on note paper and it's written in a crazy, all-caps chicken scratch."

The source - who also revealed the notes contain intimate details about the writer's fantasies involving 26-year-old Britney being her long lost granddaughter- claims one of the packages contained a picture showing an 80-year-old woman with grey hair, sitting in a convalescent home, believed to be the sender.

The source added: "Another photo shows the same old woman holding a cat and yet another photo has her wearing a blue, bed cover." It's like something from a bad movie. If I hadn't seen it myself, I wouldn't believe it."

LAPD spokesperson Ana Aguirre said no specific investigation had been launched yet, adding: "We have been looking at allegations that have cropped up in the past couple of months and it appears the sender is suffering from dementia."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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