CHICAGO, IL--Though they lived together for 23 months between 2008 and 2010, reports indicate that Mike Collar and John Garvey now solely interact with each other via automated requests on the Facebook game Candy Crush. Sources indicate actual verbal or written communication between the pair has not occurred in over a year.
"Oh, yeah, I spoke to John last week. He seems to be doing good," an evaluation Collar made solely on Garvey's progress through the game. "Is he still with Rebecca? Uh, I don't know. We didn't talk about that," remarked Collar on the completely impersonal communication that consisting of sending his once good friend an extra life in a computer game.
When pressed for further details on Garvey's current stats, Collar responded "Oh, I don't know. He's, uh, still out in Belleville," desperately attempting to recall information on the Facebook profile he hadn't actually looked at in months. "Pretty sure he still has that job with that firm."
At press, Garvey was casually wondering how it's taken Collar so long just to get to level 45.
