Written by Winston Smith

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

image for Bernanke and Lew Save White House Easter Egg Roll
The Debt came first, then the Chicken

According to a joint press release from the United States Treasury and Federal Reserve the White House Easter Egg Roll will proceed as normal, albeit with some minor changes from last year.

Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors, Ben Bernanke, and Secretary of the United States Treasury, Jack Lew, have come up with a creative way to save the Egg Roll from death by sequestration.

The two leaders were dining together over Kobe prime-rib and Maine tails in the White House kitchen when they noticed some handwriting on some hard-boiled eggs in the refrigerator. That started them thinking about the Egg Roll and how to save it by just rolling over the national debt except in a slightly different way.

Although both credit the other for the idea, it was decided that the children could pay for the Egg Roll themselves. Instead of printing up the next issue of paper Treasury Bonds and paying an armored car company to deliver them to the Federal Reserve Bank, the bonds would be printed on hard-boiled eggs. The children would simply roll them across the White House lawn to a Federal Reserve kiosk set up there just to receive them.

Due to the quantity of bonds involved, the children will be required to carry their school backpacks filled with the egg-bonds while they roll a single egg across the lawn. The children will be getting a great lesson on how today's government expenditures are being funded on the backs of future generations. The money saved on the delivery charges will be used to pay for the eggs, the presidential security detail and the all-night Kobe steak party for VIPs afterwards.

On a related note, the minutes of the latest FOMC meeting quote Ben Bernanke saying,"At least we can eat the damn eggs. We already have enough toilet paper to last the bank a thousand years."

The FOMC minutes also quoted Chairman Bernanke saying,"I have asked Jack Lew to contract out the future bond printing jobs to the makers of Sharmin. A change that should make us all feel a little bit better whenever we sit down and reach for the national debt."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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