Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 28 February 2013

image for Alabama Outlaws Accordion Playing
The Tuscaloosa trailer that is home to long-time accordion player McAdoo Waterworth, 84. (Photo courtesy of Charles Barkley).

MONTGOMERY, Alabama - After receiving numerous complaints from the state's banjo playing residents, the Alabama state senate acted on the countless complaints complaining about accordion playing.

State Senator Brisker "Tadpole" Tadfeller, 71, [R-Mobile], who himself is an accomplished banjo player, said that he decided to spearhead the bill to outlaw the playing of accordion music within the state.

He brought out the fact that accordion music was meant to be played by German oompah bands in Pennsylvania and Ohio, as well as in the Croatian and Slovenian neighborhoods of New York City and not deep in the heart of Dixie, where Banjo is king.

Senator Tadfeller noted that one Alabama resident, who he identified as Eunice Elvira Hooverkoff of Tuscaloosa, wrote him and said that her next door neighbor, McAdoo "Wiggleworm" Waterworth, 84, plays his darn accordion at all hours of the day.

She noted that the accordion isn't even in tune and hasn't been for the past seven months.

Hooverkoff confessed that she even thought about paying one of the neighborhood kids to steal the accordion but old man Waterworth never lets the darn thing out of his site.

SIDENOTE: Senator Tadfeller said that the final vote on the bill to ban accordion playing in the state came out to 34-1. He said that the only dissenting vote came from 91-year-old Rayleen "Biscuit Mix" Muddymeister, who in just the past 12 months has become one ornery as hell old maid.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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