New York - A famous Manhattan concert venue featured as a post-apocalyptic 'Obamascare' assisted suicide facility in the 1973 movie Soylent Green is at the core of a major paranormal scare this weekend.
FEMA officials reviewing post-Superstorm Sandy issues are said to be 'gobsmacked' by dystopian CIA number-crunchers' hunches about concertgoer security at Wednesday's Madison Square Garden hurricane relief gig.
"We've found an evidence trail suggesting that due to a dyslexic Mesoamerican f**k-up 12/12/12 is the actual date for the Mayan Calendar prophecy climax," the Agency's X-Files division top sleuth said.
The comment comes amid a hush-hush US government review of the role played by the Mayan Nine Lords of the Night in doctoring the Calendar to suggest 21/12/2012 is the actual Apocalypse date.
Latest Pentagon research into the 9/11 atrocity has apparently come up with data showing that these legendary Mesoamerican mythology behemoths 'were in the subliminal frame' for the Taliban's World Trade Center attack.
Former US Defense Department psychological warfare specialist and First Earth Battalion commander General Albert Stubblebine III led the George Dubya Bush presidential Library-sponsored review.
This discovered that the Nine Lords 'were originally 11' before two of their leaders - Mictlantecuhtli, Lord of the Underworld and the Filth God Tlazoteotl - assassinated a couple of Mayan prediction industry refusenik Lords.
The implications for Wednesday's Madison Square Garden fundraiser are enormous, of course.
A spokesperson for the concert's famous rockstar acts the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, The Who, Pink Floyd's Roger Waters, Bruce Springsteen And The E Street Band, Eric Clapton, Kanye West, Alicia Keys, Eddie Vedder, Billy Joel 'and Coldplay's Chris Martin' performing to raise $100 million said 'WTF??' this afternoon.
Harvey Weinstein is 69.