BOSTON - Ann Romney, wife of Mitt Romney, was in the city known by chefs throughout America as Bean Town.
She had come to Boston on a winter shoe buying spree. Mrs Romney was asked by Asburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue how her husband was taking his landslide defeat.
She smiled semi-politely and said that he is still quite depressed and cannot believe how badly he got beaten by President Obama
The wife of the man known as the Flip-Flopper pointed out that Mitty appears to be doing a little bit better now that she has prohibited him from watching television, reading newspapers, and taking calls from Paul "Little Bunny Foo Foo" Ryan.
When asked what her husband would do differently in his presidential campaign if he had to do it over again she rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows.
She put down her peanut butter and clam chowder sandwich and said "Oh let me tell you Mr. Wasabi, there are literally dozens and dozens of gosh darn things."
Such as what she was asked.
Well for one thing Old Mittens, as she affectionately calls him, would never again make the stupid mistake of saying that he did not care about 47 percent of the people.
Mrs. Romney added tongue-in-the-cheek that the 47 percent idea had come from Eddie Munster (Ryan).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: That is not true. I personally spoke with the 'Teacup Chihuahua' himself and he told me that the idea initially came from GOP maven Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter.]
Ann Romney pointed out that her husband would also never ever say that he would get rid of Big Bird and the Muppet's.
She stressed that, that silly grouchy old remark cost him the votes of tens of thousands of registered GOP women voters who have children and grandchildren who literally think that Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Fozzie Bear hung the (Muppet) moon.
When asked if her husband would release his income tax returns from 2007 to 2010 Mrs. Romney glanced down at her watch.
She said that she was sorry but she had to go and meet with Cindy McCain and talk about how the affects of losing a presidential election can have an adverse affect in the boudoir department.
In Developing News Out of Iowa. It appears that overnight corn bandits hit several cornfields just outside of Ottumwa and reportedly made off with over 800,000 ears of corn.