Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 6 September 2012

image for Clinton 'knew Monica Lewinsky is ex-Italian PM's Silvio Berlusconi's daughter' says D 'N' C consultant
Lewinsky is the living image of her Italian gansta Pa

Washington - A top makeover consultant hired by successive Administrations has revealed what NATO geneticists have always suspected, that former President Bill Clinton 'was 100% aware' of Monica's Italian bloodline.

Dilation and curettage [D-'n'-C] specialist Dr F Annie Scrape said today it may have been the sole reason for Monica Lewinsky's original 1995 internship placement in White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta's orifice - er...office!

The ex-CIA director and current Obama Secretary of Defense is a well known amucker of the former Italian Prime Monster and was 'charmed' to take on Monica for the unpaid position...before summarily shunting her off to the Pentagon where her bent Italian Stallion DNA was regarded as 'quaint'.

Speaking to reporters from QM-NewsCorpse this morning Dr Scrape said the latest genome finding meant that Lewinsky 'is Justin Bieber's big sister'.

"Of course we may never have found out these details if Bill hadn't dipped his Pixy Stix into Monica's candy pouch, heheh," Scrape commented.

The analogy refers to the Fun Dip sweetmeat manufactured by the Willy Wonka Candy Company consisting of a marshmallow flavored Lik-A-Stix candy dippers and grape or cherry-flavored sherbet pouches.

"Only in Monica's case it may have been a sour cherry that someone else had, er, ripened much earlier," Scrape added.

Canadian teenage singer Justin Bieber was recently outed as Berlusconi's spawn by royal gold digger Kate Middleton.

Linda Tripp is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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