George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips
Shellie Zimmerman has stated that her all-time favorite food is pizza and that she usually eats at least three a day.

SANFORD, Florida - Well it appears that The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has come to Sanford.

Just when it seems that the Zimmerman Saga could not get any weirder, Georgy Porgy's wife Shellie "Belly" Zimmerman comes out of the woodwork.

Florida, which is known as "The Plywood State" because of all the hurricanes that play havoc with her cities, has now also become known as "The What The Hell Now State."

Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight stated that if this keeps up all of the Jewish folks who come down to the "Vitamin C State" from New York City during the winter may decide to go somewhere else that is a little bit quieter and safer such as Detroit.

Miss Swizzle reports that Sanford Police arrested Mrs. George Zimmerman on charges stemming from three unpaid parking tickets.

She was also charged with failure to keep her pet flamingo, "Pinky Boy" on a leash, and for statutory weight gaining, which in Florida is punishable by being incarcerated and forced on The Three Raisins Per Day Diet.

According to Anderson Cooper of Anderson Cooper 360, when Rev. Al Sharpton was informed of Mrs. Zimmerman's arrest he became so elated that he actually did three back flips.

His secretary Fatima Yobelle Youngpip, 29, said that she recalls one time having seen him do one back flip by not three in a row. She giggled and said that nickels and dimes went everywhere.

Shellie Zimmerman, who looks a lot like Rosanne Barr but insists that the two are not related, is 25, but looks 55.

Miss Swizzle was told by one of Zimmerman's neighbors (Gretty Tuscatelli) that Shellie Zimmerman has not seen the inside of a beauty saloon in seven years.

Mrs. Zimmerman's attorney, identified as Myron P. Lippawitz of Hackensack, New Jersey, was asked to comment on the various charges that his client faces.

Lippawitz replied that Mrs. Zimmerman is contending that the charges were photoshopped.

"PHOTOSHOPPED!? Surely you're KID-DING?" Swizzle replied in a loud voice.

"No ma'am." Came the reply from Lippawitz. "I am as serious as the fat on David Crosby's belly."

Shellie Zimmerman, or "Orca" as her grandmother Sefolosha "Mud Dauber" Stuffgate, 91, calls her, is presently sitting in a jail cell in The Happy Oranges Correctional Facility For Women located north of Sanford in Orange City.

Her bail has been set at $18,217. And according to her attorney Mrs. Zimmerman told Judge Wyattwine that her and Georgy are broke.

Ah well except for the $200,000 that they managed to weasel out of hundreds of vulnerable, kind-hearted folks through their very hastily put together website

SIDENOTE: Myron P. Lippawitz has said that his clients cannot legally touch the $200,000 since it has been put away into an Around The World Ocean Cruise Trust Fund that the Zimmerman's hope to one day take.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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