Halliburton Fires C.I.A. Chief

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 11 May 2006

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Springtime for the C.I.A.

Holy cow! Stop the presses. Why did Porter Goss head of C.I.A. and member of the Bush White House get fired? This is the first time anyone is made to walk the plank, and to paraphrase a song title in the Mel Brooks musical The Producers, "Where did he go right?"

Did Porter Goss confess his negligence caused 9/11? Did he provide the false information about WMD? Did he tell reporter Dana Priest of the Washington Post about the secret torture prisons in secret tortuous locations? Did he attempt to restart the cold war by criticizing Mr. Putin's form of Democracy?

In the Bush White House, after someone is caught in a pickle, an announcement of complete support is followed by months of stonewalling, concluding with a Fox network confession, blaming everything on the use of prescription drugs. The pickled individual is systematically promoted, given the Medal of Freedom, the Purple Heart, as well as a six figure book deal.

The book deal is still iffy, as well as the medals and Fox confession; prompting thinking minds to believe: hey, this could be serious stuff. Golly, maybe Goss had an affair with Laura Bush? Did he kick Barney the dog? Purchase a hybrid car? Shoot somebody in the face? Twice?

Buried in the back pages of the Wall Street Kernel, a story appeared suggesting that the early retirement of Mr. Goss was related to activity at the Watergate complex, famed for the Nixon break in, followed by impeachment. Having bad karma, the Watergate sits in the middle of D.C. like an ever expanding Carmen Miranda hat, consistently drawing to its negative history.

Several evening poker parties were held at an apartment owned by a certain contractor and attended by Mr. Goss. Men playing poker is not frowned upon, however the contractor paid some ladies to entertained the poker players and these ladies were not from the road company of the Sound Of Music.

No one questions the law's delays or the more swift, exacting and everlasting punishment administered by wives, but this particular contractor (owner of the poker playing apartment at the Watergate) received a few defense contracts from the C.I.A. While business may be business, and the facts appear to be a conundrum of rumors adding up to very little, the contractor in question was NOT from Halliburton. There's the rub.

Apparently, that was where Porter Goss got it right. And why he was fired.

Right? Right.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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