Charles "The Fat Bro" Barkley Is Dumped As Spokesperson For Weight Whompers

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

image for Charles "The Fat Bro" Barkley Is Dumped As Spokesperson For Weight Whompers
The mayors of San Antonio and Oklahoma City have said they'll have police all around Barkley's hotel.

NEW YORK CITY - Charles Barkley who played in the NBA and is presently a sports analyst for the TNT Network has just learned that he has been fired from being the Weight Whompers spokesperson.

Barkley was informed in an email by WW CEO Clara Jolene Flowerpicker, 47, that his services would no longer be needed and that he was being dropped by the company as their spokesperson effective immediately.

Charles spoke with Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors and said that the decision caught him by complete surprise.

He let Miss Rangoon know that when he asked Ms. Flowerpicker why he was being let go she simply stated that upon advice of Weight Whompers attorney Ginger Allred all she was allowed to say was that there were two very good reasons.

Miss Rangoon asked Barkley how much he weighed. He hesitated a bit but ended up telling her that he weighs 404 pounds.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Anderson Cooper and I asked him if he knew the reasons why Barkley was fired. He said that the first reason was due to the fact that since April 1, 2012, when he first joined WW, Barkley had not lost a single pound. The second reason was due to the extremely out-of-line, hateful remarks he made about Southern women being fat.]

Barkley, who is known by many as "Pumpkin Face" said that he was just kidding. But his TNT fellow analyst Shaquille O'Neal did divulge that Charles is a perfect example of the old cliché of the pot calling the kettle black.

And the other TNT sports analyst Kenny "The Jet" Smith added that in all of the years that he has known Barkley that he has never heard him make such hateful, viciously venomous, and vitriolically vile remarks as the one's he made about America's Southern women.

Ling Chow Rangoon, who is not one to hold back, acknowledged that Sir Charles as the egomaniacal twerp calls himself, has been accused of batting for the other team on more than one occasion.

She also expressed that the black Pillsbury Doughboy is in fact so fat that he makes Chaz Bono look anorexic.

Rangoon went on to say that Charles is so big that he could easily be a New Year's Tournament of Roses Parade float.

She noted that Charles "The Chump" as "First Mama" Michelle Obama has referred to him looks like a Jack-O-Lantern, except that he smells worse, is taller, and instead of being orange is somewhat black in skin tone.

SIDENOTE: TNT will be covering the NBA Western Division Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Oklahoma City Thunder; two Southern teams. Miss Rangoon spoke with TNT sports show host Ernie Johnson and he confided in her that neither he nor Kenny Smith nor Shaquille O'Neal want to be seen in either city anywhere near Charles "Foot-In-Mouth" Barkley.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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