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Funny satire stories about Betty White

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Funny story: Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

Official Retirement Age Upped to 95 in the US

It happened shortly after Prince Philip announced his impending retirement. Members of the U.S. Congress, eager to extend their own gravy train and justify that extension as totally normal, were eager to vote this into law. "I'm all for it," said...

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Funny story: Betty White, Joan Rivers and Larry King Neck and Neck In Office Death Pool

Betty White, Joan Rivers and Larry King Neck and Neck In Office Death Pool

Things are hotting up in a South Florida offices' 'death pool' after new member of staff, Kevin Ball wagered $200 on former Golden Girl Betty White to pip current favorites Joan Rivers and Larry King to the grave. "I feel good about Betty's prosp...

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Funny story: Fox Hunting Touted as Next New Summer Olympic Event

Fox Hunting Touted as Next New Summer Olympic Event

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND - In a highly secret, behind the scenes, "blue blood grass effort", the sport of Fox Hunting is being touted as the next new Summer Olympic event. An unidentified source has revealed several highly influential supporters from...

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Funny story: Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

NEW YORK CITY - Contrary to some recent rumors, 92-year-old Betty White was not born in a log cabin in Illinois. The elderly actress was born in Oak Park, Illinois in an accredited hospital. White was in the news recently when a team of archaeo...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Wants To Join Next Season's Dancing With The Stars

Justin Bieber Wants To Join Next Season's Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Many celebrities from yesteryear have gotten a boost to their careers by appearing on Dancing With The Stars and Justin Bieber is just smart enough to realize that fact. Bieber knows that his career has been spiraling downward at a spe...

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Funny story: Betty White Says The Controversial Drugs Did Not Belong To Her

Betty White Says The Controversial Drugs Did Not Belong To Her

EL PASO - Actress Betty White was detained for a couple of hours by the United States customs agents in the port city of El Paso, Texas after crossing over from Juarez, Mexico. A representative with the U.S. Immigration Department stated that the...

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Funny story: The Anderson Cooper-Alec Baldwin Feud Gets Nasty

The Anderson Cooper-Alec Baldwin Feud Gets Nasty

NEW YORK CITY - The verbal volcano has erupted and actor Alec Baldwin and TV talk show host Anderson Cooper are going at each other like a cat and a dog. The problem started when Baldwin suggested that Anderson needed to color his hair because he...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In The TV Show The Vampire Witches of Walla Walla

Heidi Montag, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In The TV Show The Vampire Witches of Walla Walla

LOS ANGELES - Heidi Montag, AKA The Queen of Plastic, has just announced that her, Betty White, 91, and Cloris Leachman, 87, have all agreed to star in a new television series on the Epitome Television Network. The comedy-drama is titled The Vampi...

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Funny story: Playboy Playmate of the Year 1960 Endorsing Bernie Sanders

Playboy Playmate of the Year 1960 Endorsing Bernie Sanders

Ellen Stratton, age 73, was Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Month for its December 1959 issue. She was also the first Playmate of the Year for 1960 and she fully endorses Bernie Sanders for 2016. Ms. Stratton stated the reason for supporting Be...

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Funny story: Supreme Court to FCC: Make Your Indecency Standards Clear, You Fucking Assholes.

Supreme Court to FCC: Make Your Indecency Standards Clear, You Fucking Assholes.

The highest Court in the land voted unanimously to overturn the Friggin' FCC's fines from networks for showing nudity and swearing on TV, in violation of their indecency policy. The case stems from fines for language and revealing shots that typic...

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Funny story: Betty White Denies That She Flashed Ron Paul At A Political Fundraiser

Betty White Denies That She Flashed Ron Paul At A Political Fundraiser

LOS ANGELES - Betty White, at the age of 90, is one of the few people in America who is older than GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul. Ms. White is best noted for having starred in the popular sit-com The Mary Tyler Moore Show where she portrayed...

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Funny story: Kathy Griffin Agrees To Enroll In An Anger Management Class

Kathy Griffin Agrees To Enroll In An Anger Management Class

LOS ANGELES - Kathy Griffin has admitted that the stress from appearing on the cable show My Life On The D List has finally gotten to her. She was recently at the Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills where she was getting her hair done. Her hai...

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Funny story: Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!

Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!

BEVERLY HILLS - Betty White just recently celebrated her 90th birthday and the feisty Hollywood gal does not show any signs of slowing down. She is seriously considering an offer to appear in next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars as well...

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Funny story: Spinops sternbergorum really Betty White!

Spinops sternbergorum really Betty White!

A new species of horned dinosaur known as Spinops sternbergorum has been discovered in the vaults of the Natural History Museum. This astounding news was announced at a press conference by the museum Public Information Officer, Reginald Crotch. H...

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Funny story: Betty White, Florence Henderson, and Cloris Leachman To Shoot The Sit-Com Pilot "Grandma's Gone Wild!"

Betty White, Florence Henderson, and Cloris Leachman To Shoot The Sit-Com Pilot "Grandma's Gone Wild!"

LOS ANGELES - CBS in a desperate bid to pick up some of the millions of viewers that they are going to lose with the cancellation of the rest of the seasons episodes on their hit Two and A Half Men are scurrying to come up with some replacement shows...

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Funny story: Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In "Charlie's Angels - The Hip Replacement Years"

Joan Rivers, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman To Star In "Charlie's Angels - The Hip Replacement Years"

HOLLYWOOD - The Gladiator Motion Picture Company in association with Late December Films has announced that filming has already started on Charleen Belle Pinnzucker's Charlie'a Angels - The Hip Replacement Years. The part of Jill Munroe is being p...

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Funny story: Betty White Resolves To Die In 2011

Betty White Resolves To Die In 2011

While most people resolve to change their lives in a meaningful way in the upcoming year, Emmy-winner Betty White hopes that 2011 ends with her in a lavish brass casket. Unexplained Reference Key Helen Kushnick (1946 - 1996)Jay Leno's former agent...

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