Monday, 2 April 2012

image for Opus Dei opens Liberty Baptist University branch
Opus Dei Lynchburg, Virginia over-seer

LYNCHBURG, VA (ABSNN) The super-secret Roman Catholic society, Opus Dei can be found on most any college campus recruiting new members into their ranks of numeraries (those men and women who live in Opus Dei housing and live lives of celibacy &&cc). But choosing Jerry Falwell's Liberty Baptist University campus in Lynchburg for recruiting Southern Baptists "is going a little far afield," according to town's people.

"This group built a house for Catholic students in Lynchburg. That is what they told us. The next thing you know there's some really good looking women and good looking guys were caught trolling the Liberty campus and handing out Opus Dei recruiting brochures," said Harold Kanton, a Lynchburg resident.

"We contacted old Father Mac Gregory up in the Catholic Church about it but he's a Franciscan and said he was 'afraid of Opus Dei and since he had only five months to live he'd rather not live it in hell,'" Kanton said.

"All I know about Opus Dei is from that movie where the mad monk Silas goes about killing people. He was Opus Dei. And Father Mac Gregory and he wear the same hair shirt. I think it was Mac Gregory's doings all along."

Father Mac Gregory would not consent to an interview. The Opus Dei Student Center was open for business but no one would answer any questions on the record.

Off the record it was a different matter. The woman manning the desk told me, "Honestly, Baptists want and crave idols."

Jerry Farwell lies moulderin' in the grave, and spinning, spinning away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: opus dei

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