RYE, NY --- President Obama addressed students and faculty at Holden Caulfield Prep School for Boys in Rye, NY, today. The President was introduced to the 900 students gathered in Pencey Hall, by Principal Spencer Antolini.
The speech was meant to coincide with the second anniversary of Obama signing the Federal Health Care Act in March 2010.
Outlining his program to expand Health Care, the President said, "Your mom gets the pill, your dad gets Viagra and if you help me get reelected I promise you will get beta blockers for your 'wet dreams'."
"Now I hear a few heavy sighs out there and I share your anxieties, I remember my days at Columbia University back in the 80's --- it's true they used to call me Barry --- I had to be counseled regularly by my resident dorm advisor concerning my nocturnal misadventures. In fact, I thought it might have been because of my favorite group back then, the Eurythmics."
"You know what I'm talking about," he said, before crooning, "Wet dreams are made of these ~ Who am I to disagree ~ Travel the world and the seven seas ~ Everybody's looking for something…"
Speaker of the House John Boehner when asked to comment on the President's pledge to add another handout to the government's health care program, said, " This is typical of the President and his administration --- he doesn't get it --- people are hard up for jobs, not wet dreams."
[When it was pointed out the song is "Sweet Dreams," an aide sarcastically said, "What are you, the catcher in Rye?"]
