Raggedy Ass Doll Removed From Shelves

Funny story written by Adam Click

Thursday, 23 February 2012

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Kids clamored for the Raggedy Ass Doll when it first came out. Now they can' t be bothered.

After a promising start, Raggedy Ass Dolls are being pulled from store shelves, following a slew of parent's complaints that the dolls inspired gluttony and sloth in their offspring.

The Raggedy Ass Doll, modeled after the popular Raggedy Ann and Andy Dolls, is slovenly dressed and smelly. It does nothing but sit and stare into space, inspiring those who play with it to do the same.

"Johnny was such a well behaved boy until I got him that Raggedy Ass Doll!" stated Marsha Brady "Now he's a smart mouthed, lazy ass snot! Worst mistake I ever made!"

Her sentiments are being echoed across the land as parent after parent decries the Raggedy Ass Dolls they bought their children based on media hype. Some are even going as far as blaming the Raggedy Ass Dolls for the current "Occupy Wall Street" Movement.

"Martha would never have become involved in the "Occupy" Movement if it wasn't for that Damned Raggedy Ass Doll!" complained Howard Ness, whose wife encouraged him to buy the doll when he was stumped for a Christmas present last year.

"She said, "Get that damn Raggedy Ass Doll, for cripes sake!" So I did. Now look what's happened! All that girl does is sit around all day complaining about that Raggedy Ass Doll we got her. There's gratitude for you!"

Mr. Ness has joined thousands of other parents who have filed a class action suit against the manufacturer of the Raggedy Ass Doll, Less-Than-Ideal Toys of Delaware, claiming that the company knew about the doll's corrosive effects but was too lazy to do anything about it.

Less-Than-Ideal Toys has pulled the Raggedy Ass Dolls from the market for now but has promised to re-introduce it after the presidential election as the first in a series of American Moocher Dolls.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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