Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 19 February 2012

image for Millions Of Non-Practicing Heterosexuals To March On Washington
Marching On Washington

BILLINGSGATE POST - They are up in arms and they aren't going to take it anymore. Millions of non-practicing heterosexuals plan to march on Washington this Memorial Day to voice their displeasure over being forced to pay for other people's recreational sex as mandated by Obamacare.

Hazel Winship, a 64 year old widow from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska lost her husband 2 years ago and says that she has not come remotely close to scoring on any of the available bachelors in this farming community in western Nebraska. "Can't stand old farmers in bib-overalls...just doesn't turn me on," she said while peering over her horn-rimmed spectacles from Sears.

On the other side of the coin, Terry Mudd, a Navy Swiftboat operator during the Vietnam War who now lives celibately outside Portland, Maine, claims he hasn't had a decent piece of tail since his last liberty in Olongapo, Philippines back in 1968. Mudd, who was reprimanded for biting the ass of a female commissioned officer - after first shaking salt on it, of course - told his superior officer that the hunt was always more satisfying than the conquest. Since then, former Lieutenant Mudd has avoided all contact with bar-room Jezebels.

Anyone familiar with heterosexuals knows that there are at least 10 million stories in the Naked City, some better and some worse than the above. But you can count on this; both Hazel and Terry will be in Washington this coming Memorial Day, joining millions of other non-practicing heterosexuals to let Obama know that they aren't going to take it any more.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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