Written by Khan

Saturday, 18 February 2006

image for Experts analyzing Cheney tape for clues to future attacks
VP Cheney; "I‘m comfortable with the way we did it, obviously."

Washington, DC. American Bar Association hired experts were today busy analyzing Cheney tape aired on America's own version of al-Jazeera i.e. Fox News. ABA spokesman Mr Wayne King told reporters "analysts were scrutinizing the tape by Vice President Dick Cheney for any clues - including certain words and phrases - that might be a signal for future attacks". He added "analysts believe that not only the tape has clues but is also a coded instruction manual". Until the tape is fully analyzed and cleared from security perspective Mr King asked reputable law firms to increase security and must not allow leading members of their firms to leave protected premises after sunset or going on pursuits in the wilderness. Although Mr King refused to be drawn on the specifics as to what has lead the ABA to issue this unprecedented security warning to member firms, independent analysts point to the section of the tape where Mr Chenny comes close to outlining the planning of the attack on Whittington. Mr Chenny is reported to have said on the tape "I had no press person with me, no coverage with me, no White House reporters with me. I‘m comfortable with the way we did it, obviously." The key word in that quote being "we".

Sources close to the ABA investigation revealed on condition of anonymity that experts had already isolated other key phrases from the tape dubbed "sit down with Brit Hume" that were of particular concern. They point out that the label being attached to the tape "sit down with Brit Hume" is a concern in itself. Analysts maintain that Mr Cheney appears to be instructing his followers that the future quarry should be taken in sitting position -attacker and victim being seated face to face -like he himself is with Brit Hume on the tape. Analysts agree, had Chenny shot according to the instructions now being given in this tape Mr Whittington would have had virtually no chance of survival.

Other phrase which is of particular concern is "I was there on a private weekend with friends on a private ranch" leads analysts to believe that Mr Chenny is calling for more than one shooter ("Friends") to be present on the site of next attack, possibly as a back up to ensure absolute kill.

In other sections of the tape where Mr Chenny appears to be gloating; "I fired, and there's Harry falling." And "The image of him falling is something I'll never be able to get out of my mind," seems to be a reminder to his followers, that in addition to the great service to America attorney extermination is, it carries the enormous fringe benefit of great exhilaration and deeply felt long term satisfaction for the patriot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Washington, FOX News

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