Written by jd Balderdash

Thursday, 2 February 2006

image for Cindy Sheehan Released, Re-Arrested
Sheehan, about to be arrested for eating a cheese Danish

WASHINGTON - "Peace Mom" Cindy Sheehan, arrested Tuesday night for wearing an anti-war tee shirt has again been RE-ARRESTED for standing 4 blocks away from the White House and, according to Secret Service agents, "Staring too intently" in the direction OF the White House. Senator Ted Kennedy, already in a lather over the Judge Alito confirmation issued the following statement ..

"They've gone too far this time, Bush and the Republicans. What next? Wire-tapping of our own citizens?"

Many Cable News analysts agree that Mother Sheehan WAS perhaps unfairly jailed last night AND that secret wire-tapping and recording of private conversations are a "no-no" except when calling Microsoft or Sears or Time Warner Cable or your local utility company or Walmart or your church pastor or the public library or your own mom even, etc, etc, etc.

The Bush administration does admit to accidentally secretly recording a 79 year old grandmother's call to Eckerd's for a Geritol refill but says that that case is a "weird NSA anomaly" and that it will not happen again. President Bush said,

"The caller HAS to be part of Al Quaeda or calling someone AT Al Quaeda or a person of interest or someone we don't quite particularly like before we will tap in to their .. .. uh, I mean, legally MONITOR their private communications for the sake of the security of the nation, the world and the solar system.

Cindy Sheehan, once again in jail for "staring too intently" 4 blocks away from the White House is confident that she will once again be released. Democratic opponents to Bush's NSA spy program however say that Bush is specifically targeting Sheehan. Ted Kennedy told reporters,

"If Cindy Sheehan is behind bars President Bush is free to travel anywhere he wants without Mz Sheehan being there waiting with tents, protest rallies and free pizza before he even arrives."

Attorney's for Sheehan say that simply "looking at the White House" does NOT constitute a crime.

DC police on the other hand, funded by the Bush administration disagree. Inside sources say that freshman judge Samuel Alito's pivotal vote on the matter could decide the constitutionality of Cindy Sheehan even "thinking about" President Bush and his dog Barney constitutes a crime against not only the United States but humanity as well.

"President Bush? Why not focus on real threats like Iran or Korea instead of trying to imprison me every chance you get" Sheehan said from her DC jail cell.

Inside sources say that Sheehan was immediately slapped with additional charges of TREASON and "jeopardizing national security" for asking the President that particular treasonous question.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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