Written by jd Balderdash

Saturday, 28 January 2006

image for Galactic Invasion Imminent .. Bush Requests Emergency Funds

WMD's? President Bush says "They got em, them alien critters. Real WMD's this time I tell ya!." Congress listened intently for 90 minutes as President Bush spilled the whole can of beans about Roswell, UFO cover-ups, alien abductions and Crawford Tx crop circles. Senator Ted Kennedy present at the hearings told reporters,

"I would have filibustered Bush's de-briefing but I couldn't find a clause in the .. that constitution thing to allow me to do it. I'll get that Alito character though, not to worry."

NASA does admit that strange "signals" have been detected emanating from a region 140,000 miles west of the moon but cannot yet attribute intelligent origin to said signals.

"WMD's I tell you" President Bush kept telling Congress saying, "they're up there and they're comin. With their WMD's you gotta trust me this time, Condi tell em!."

Condoleeza Rice, present at the debriefing nodded her head in agreement but after that whole Iraqi affair wisely decided to not openly comment about the president's WMD claims.

FOX NEW'S Shepard Smith broke down the president's de-briefing into terms even non-FOX viewers can understand explaining,

"According to President Bush, beings from the galaxy zar'R are parked right next to our moon, to the left, about to invade America, Crawford Tx, his ranch in particular. Roswell, the myth, the legend was indeed the site of a massive weather balloon crash. A diversion perpetrated by the beings from the zar'R galaxy to confound us."

Shep went on to say,

"It gets complicated and a tad weird from here folks so I suggest that you switch over to CNN's Nancy Grace tonight for further details. Back to you Greta."

GRETA -> You just sent our viewers to CNN Shepard.

SHEPARD -> I did? Oh. Uh, I mean, stay tuned to Larry King for further details about the alien invasion.

GRETA -> You did it again Shepard.

SHEPARD -> OK Greta. WHO then can explain this alien galactic invasion to our FOX viewers?

GRETA -> O'Reilly Shepard. O'Reilly.

President Bush is asking his fellow Americans to tune in to tonight's O'Reilly Report where O'Reilly will justify his 900 billion dollar request to Congress for funds needed to send U.S. Space Marines to the left of the moon to battle the beings from the galaxy zar'R.

Donald Rumsfeld, not yet fully convinced of the alien WMD threat asked Congress for an additional 300 Billion on top of the President's original 900 Billion dollar request.

"The left of the moon's quite a ways out there folks" Rumsfeld told reporters adding, "With the price of gas these days .."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Congress, Invasion

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
59 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more