Celebrity chefs set to do new "Zoo dinners"

Funny story written by Peter Stevenson

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

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image for Celebrity chefs set to do new "Zoo dinners"
Bruno called the banana soufflé delighful, but said he'd had better "chef".

Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver and Anthony Worrall-Thompson are set to hit the TV screens this Autumn with a new show that follows them as they attempt to re-invent a fledgling Zoo's food.

The three chefs began their quest in May 2011 after Splot Zoo reported that animals were becoming "despondent" with the food given to them. This, according to the animal trainers, caused animals to retreat to their sleeping quarters, and not engage with the public.

Ramsay, Oliver and Thompson came up with their own takes on dishes suitable for the animals, and so far it has been a success. "Ramsay's anchovy-stuffed salt-cod are going down a treat with the penguins, and Oliver's poached pear and coconut pots are really getting the birds excited," said Zoo manager Andrew Brown.

What's more, it seems the animals have really taken to these two particular chefs. "I guess the similarities in their personalities have made it easy for certain animals to interact with them," continued Mr Brown.

"One day, we found Gordon in the lion pen. He had decided to penetrate one of the females, all the while shouting at the other males and smacking his hands together. It was symbiotic."

"Similarly, Jamie spent a lot of his free time in the parrot enclosure, and I think the back-and-forth between them has actively helped the way he talks. No more spitting - although the parrots now all can't stop saying 'bootiful', which is really twisting my tits."

One chef absent from the celebrations is Worrall-Thompson, who suffered a tragedy during the testing of his first dish. "It's no secret by now that we lost Anthony to a silverback gorilla," said animal trainer Keith Rodgers. Worrall-Thompson entered the cage to tempt the Gorilla - named Bruno - with a banana soufflé, at which point the Gorilla attacked the chef and ate him.

"Ironically, Bruno ate the soufflé for dessert," continued Mr Rodgers.

Zoo dinners is on every Friday at 7.30pm on the Docscovery channel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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