National Anthem Too Short Says Hamilton - Top DJs Called In

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

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Two of the dance scene's top DJ's have been called in to revamp the UK national anthem following complaints by Formula 1 star Lewis Hamilton that it is too short.

The McLaren star was speaking after his "amazing" victory in the German Grand Prix at the Nürburgring.

"I am massively proud to hear the national anthem," he said after the victory podium ceremony. "The only thing is that everyone else's is much longer than ours.

"When I stand up there and Felipe (Massa) has won, it's ten minutes long and when I'm standing there it lasts half a minute. I would urge the UK to make our national anthem longer."

The rendition of God Save the Queen at the ceremony took a mere 44.4 seconds. the Brazilian anthem has been timed at 1 minute 53.2 seconds, while the Formula 1 version of Advance Australia Fair lasts 57.3 seconds. The German anthem, Das Deutschlanlied, takes 54.4 seconds.

Now, McLaren have commission top dance producer/DJs Paul Oakenfold and David Guetta to "remix" the UK anthem to satisfy Hamilton should he be at the top of the podium again.

Said a spokesman: "Given the way these lads work and having heard 12-inch versions of a lot of top tunes, we reckon God Save The Queen, The Lewis Mix could easily last at least 12 minutes.

"See if the podium boys can wait that long to get their hands on the fizz."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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