Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

image for Strip Club Licence Powers A Parish Council "Con"
At a village hall near you.

Proposed local government reforms which will allow Parish Councils the power to revoke strip club licences have been branded a "con" by an entertainment entrepreneur.

A Government white paper aims to open up public services to competition from the private and voluntary sector. Under the new powers proposed for local authorities, parish councils will be able to impose parking charges and take over leisure centres, libraries, museums and parks.

Prime Minister David Cameron sees the moves as a step towards a fairer society in which local services are run for the benefit of local people.

But nightclub owner Manny Drillbit described the plans as a con and accused the Government of handing local councils the opportunity to monopolise local entertainment.

"They'll be shutting us down left, right and centre," he said. "It's a proper con, all right. Look, I know for a fact that my local parish council runs a strip club in the village hall every second Friday and third Saturday in the month. It's very difficult to compete with amateurs - I have to pay my girls a decent wage.

"Don't get me wrong - Mrs Prendergast, Miss Coombs and the local girls are very skilled dancers and might be described as 'easy on the eye,' especially in the subdued lighting. But these powers would put people like me out of business - they'll just close us down and take over.

"It'll be village hall stripping every weekend, and lap and pole-dancing in the library on Wednesdays and Thursdays."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Strippers

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