Britain To Sponsor Global Warming

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 7 July 2011


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It's not altogether clear just yet, because details are a little sketchy, but it seems that the British Government have given the green light to a white paper promising to commit government funding to global warming.

The news comes as Britain shivers in the wind and shelters from torrential rain showers in what was once the height of Summer - July.

It seems that it's all well and good, people banging on about global warming, carbon footprints, melting ice caps, shrinking glaciers, holes in the ozone layer, space rockets, sunspots and all that bollocks.

It seems that this stuff only applies in the Mediterranean, the Sahara Desert, Death Valley, Texas and the Arab states, but Britain is missing out.

And the plucky Brits don't like it one bit.

"I went out today," one remarked. "To cash me giro up the post office, and it was blowing a gale and pissing down rain. There's just no excuse for that sort of thing in a modern third world country like Britain. Apparently it even pissed down all over the red carpet at the Harry Potter premiere. I don't know. You don't get this in Benidorm in July. It's not like us Brits ask for much - a dry place to sleep, some loose fitting shoes, a full English breakfast, beer on tap and not having to carry a fucking umbrella 24/7. That Nick Clegg needs to stand up to Cameron and back British investment in global warming."

Al Gore was unavailable for comment.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock also declined to comment, as he was busy digging a hole in his back garden as part of his ten room underground extension plans, involving the Shuttlecock's palatial south coast residence.

Which were rained off at 11:30 am.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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