Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

image for Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!
Shame Ken forgot this one, mans best friend!

The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you can find and stab the intruder!"

There are a few slight problems to this solution. Normally, you don't want to confront a tatooed, seven foot thug, built like a wardrobe and his mates doing your house.

As well, burglars usually break in downstairs whilst one is asleep upstairs and getting to the kitchen can be a problem (unless one sleeps on the edge of a blade).

Burglars tend to be pretty violent people and if one is lucky enough to have a massive bread knife in one's hand be careful that the charming chappy doing your house don't have a gun stuck in his belt! Normally, the best thing to do would be to call the "Old Bill", but if you just happen to be a circus knife throwing act, no problem!

Ken has opened up a can of worms with this new legislation, but forgot to give houseowners the right to shoot the bastards because it's against the law and the poor victims could end up serving time with those who attempted to do their houses, very nasty.(?) I think I'd rather stab em!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, Knife, criminals

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