Isle of Wight News - Chain Ferry prices set to increase

Funny story written by IainB

Saturday, 4 June 2011

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The only stock photo with a chain in it

There is anger in Cowes as news emerges that the chain ferry tariff is set to increase from next month.

The chain ferry that has been in operation for over a hundred years almost continuously, give or take the occasional break down (the last lasted nearly nine years), is a vital crossing point for motorists wishing to avoid the half hour journey around from one side of Cowes to the other.

"This is disgraceful," said local resident Harold Barrelled, 64. "I've been an avid user of the chain ferry for the past seventy years, and to suddenly announce a price hike is outrageous. It's not like there's any reason for a price increase! This is profiteering on a massive scale! Whatever next? Will they charge for breathing in the sea air?"

The Isle of Wight Council that runs the chain ferry defended the price increase.

"We have had the same price for crossing the Medina Estuary for the past forty years," said councillor, Alison Wholemeal, thirty-two and three quarters. "The last price rise was in 1962, and that was to a shilling. The chain ferry is the last place in Britain still using pre-decimal currency and we felt that this had to change to bring it into the twenty-first century."

The council do not put the price hike, which has gone to the dizzying height of ninety-four pence, down to an increase in the running costs of the ferry, but instead what one shilling would be in today's money.

"To be fair," said Wholemeal. "We're not quite sure what one shilling would be in today's money, this is a pure guess."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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