Twitter Crashes Again Under An Avalanche Of Absolute B*ll*cks

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Friday, 13 May 2011

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I'm Sitting In The Toilet Right Now...

The UK's Twitter network crashed again this teatime, as the network gave way under the pressing weight of what has been tentatively described as "an avalanche of absolute bollocks."

Millions of UK Twitter users could only gawp helplessly at their iPhones as they prepared for the weekend, only to see the message:

"Twitter is oversubscribed at the moment. Please try again later."

Distraught commuters could do little about the life threatening situation, other than exchange sympathetic glances with fellow passengers on trains and buses.

"I'm devastated," one said. "I was just about to tell the world that we were having fish and chips for tea. But I've been denied that. I'll try to tell the world at half past seven that I intend to watch Coronation Street, but to be honest, there doesn't seem much point if I can't tweet it. I'm losing the will to live. I can tell you. I bet this never happens to Stephen Fry when he gets stuck in a lift, or Simon Pegg when there aren't any coathangers in his Budapest hotel room wardrobe. Seems to me it's one law for celebs, and a different one for the rest of us. Or something."

"There's too many people tweeting about absolute bollocks," an angry commuter at London's Waterloo station told Skoob News. "I don't usually mind other people tweeting absolute shite, but when I want to tweet that I've been stood in the queue at the chemist's, waiting for my prescription for more than three minutes, and can't tell the world
about it, there's something seriously wrong. Somebody needs to get their priorities in order. This whole episode is just fucking shameful."

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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