Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 9 April 2011

image for News Of The World Phone-Hacking - Local Man Claims Compensation
Vern Brickwork

As Rupert Murdoch's News International admits liability for the News of the World phone-hacking scandal, a local man claims to have been a victim and is seeking compensation.

News International admits there were at least eight victims of the hacking and has put aside £20 million for compensation.

Local "entrepreneur" Vern Anchovy said: "What's that? £20 million? Oh, er yeah - yeah. My solicitors are definitely looking into getting a slice of that, yeah.

"Oh yeah - I've got a well solid case, I have. Oh yeah. Straight up. There was definite noises on my phone when I was in the, er, delicate stages of taking over the garage in Muesli Road - you, know, out by the old airfield. Danny the Mash's old place - rest his soul.

"It was definitely the News of the World. Definitely.

"You sure they said £20 million? Yeah - I'm definitely a victim. Straight up."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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