Man changes name to 'Bastard' in royal wedding wreck moves

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Man changes name to 'Bastard' in royal wedding wreck moves
Northumbria locals are pretty pissed at the tawdry royal nuptials

Northumberland - (Rotters): An Alnmouth-and-no-trousers pensioner has changed his name to Bastard to vent his disgust at the upcoming nuptials.

Michael McNamara-Bastard used an official Deed Poll to become Micheal Bastard McNamara-Bastard and has turned down the guilt-edged royal invite to the 29 April shindig.

"I'm taking a stand against these bastards who're wrecking our country with their tawdry wedding," McBastard told reporters today.

"Doris and I have have sent back the invite so as not to soil our family's good name."

The Bastards will now celebrate their golden anniversary with a pie-throwing gala in their back garden.

Makeshift effigies of Kate and William will be placed in traditional Northumbria stocks and neighbors invited for a stake-and-kidney hurl.

Chelsy Davy is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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