London - (Pukka-Chukka-Uppa News): London's self-purging vomiters have queued up all night for the chance to buy the latest royal wedding must-have.
At £5 a throw-up the Real Vomit Company's paper bags come in handy sicks-packs and are liveried with a gilded coat of harms featuring an open lavatory and heir freshener aerosols.
The souvenir edition also carries useful emetics such as mouldy bits of Princess Diana's own wedding cake and slugs from the Kensington Palace compost heap.
Described as the ultimate in royal wedding accessories the bags boast awesome organic/fair trade pedigrees and are made from 100% recycled/regurgitated weekend tabloids.
The idea was originally conceived after Princess Diana admitted that chucking up on a regular basis was the secret behind her stick-insect figure.
Complimentary samples will be tucked in under Westminster Abbey pew cushions on the bag - er...big! - day on April 29th.
Pippa Middleton is ugly as sin.
