Written by grimbo

Sunday, 13 February 2011

image for Sweeping Council Changes Proposed

A scathing attack on local government bodies and their employees has been launched by the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, Eric Pickles.

In a speech made last night at the Guild Hall in London, Pickles warned that sweeping changes were on the way for all public bodies and local councils.

Pickles said that it was "high time the lid was taken off the jar" and that "the secrecy that has for too long surrounded local government has to be removed".

Some of the measures that are to be introduced on April 1st, 2011 include councils being compelled to name and shame any employee who falls into the category of "jobsworth". i.e. the sort of person who won't let an 80 year old woman with a walking stick in to the office to pay her community charge because she's "in possession of an offensive weapon".

Other staff who are on the Minister's hit list are the ones with the annoyingly monotonous voice who sound like a dalek on methodone and whose sole purpose in life is to trot out ad nauseam all the reasons why a caller's question can't be answered by them without ever getting round to connecting them to someone who might actually be able to help.

Local government unions are particularly enraged at Mr Pickle's pronouncement that councils henceforth will have to publish a comprehensive list of justifications for all practices currently followed by every department e.g. why does it take longer to complete a housing benefit form than it does for some people to hack into the Pentagon's main computer.

More inflammatory proposals are expected.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: councils

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
90 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more