Councils waste millions of your money on shit projects

Funny story written by Proffitt

Wednesday, 13 October 2010


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The Groom taken by a blind man

With cash hard to find many UK local councils now under the spotlight and bizarre spending habits are starting to surface.

Serious questions are now being asked as to why one council poured 1.2 million pounds of tax payer's money into a project titled - Photography for blind people. At one point a councillor's wedding was paid for because he allowed 3 blind people to shoot his wedding album! 'The project must have been a joke as the three photographers were bumping into other guests, knocking tables over and asking trees to say 'Cheese,' said one guest.

Another council has come clean about £900,000 paid to Claire Balding (the BBC's answer to Helen DeGeneres). She fronted a pilot project called L.L.L. or Lesbian League of Lumberjacks. Much of the money was spent on hard wearing shirts to be worn during the evening in and around various gay haunts. Apparently the project was a great success but it failed to yield anything worthwhile.

Other crazy cash black holes discovered were; Paragliding for Paraplegics, Quad bike racing for the Quadriplegics and How to play Tetris for Tetraplegics.

One council could be facing criminal prosecution for supporting a project that failed with galactic results. Polar expeditions for Bi-Polar suffers led to 4 eternally miserable souls being rescued after only 2 days on the snow. They hadn't even left base camp when they all said 'F**k it, I can't be bothered with this cold' and went back to bed only to succumb to frostbite.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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