Dutch Mountaineer To Tackle Pendle Hill

Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Dutch Mountaineer To Tackle Pendle Hill
You can see the viaduct from here!

Dutch mountaineer, Johann Van Der Gritt today announced that he would be leading a Dutch expedition in a quest to scale Pendle Hill in Lancashire, UK.

Van Der Gritt stated that Pendle Hill - famous the world over for the Pendle Witch trials at Lancaster Assizes yonks ago - had always presented a massive personal challenge to him.

Plans were announced that the team will trek from Blackburn railway station to the Pendleside village of Sabden, where they will establish a base camp. The team expect to launch an assault on the hill in late July, when it doesn't rain as much as usual, setting up camps at various levels in order to facilitate a summit bid.

Advertisements have been placed in the Lancashire Evening Telegraph and the Burnley Express for a two hundred strong team of porters to port the climbing gear, which will include tents, bottled oxygen, spaceman type food rations, billy cans, woolly scarves, raincoats, overalls and pit boots.

Van Der Gritt has at no point expressed the slightest interest in ascending a proper mountain.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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