London - (Sinking Ship News): Is the seat of government really overrun with vermin spoonfeeding yet more deception to a gullible British public?
Today's arrival of a pest control operative saw Downing Street officials' relief at the prospect of traps.
Fabled Westmonster rat catcher Sir Harvey Hogwash is the very stuff of legend in the lucrative pest extermination market.
An awesome strike rate eclipsing even the most diehard moggies has seen thousands of otherwise talented pussies relegated to non-hunting duties.
Hogwash will prime his vermin-baiting equipment with some tasty morsels that have made redundant in-situ felines responsible for day-to-day hunting of all kinds of pests.
"Hogwash's real talent lies in replacing all those furry predators with the latest tricks of the trade," a fan of his profession said today.
Home Secretary Theresa May is 69.
