Mineral water leaks have today been exposed as the biggest waste of water on the British mainland. Tests have revealed that for every pint of water lost through inadequate infrastructure, 2 more are lost through bottled water.
A spokesman for Tenns Valley today said:
"We acknowledge reports of water being wasted through poor pipe work and out of date infrastructure. However, what people need to remember, is that we supply the water to the bottled spring water companies.
"If we are using 2 litres to supply them with just 1 litre of bottled water, they will inevitably lose a further 2 litres through water vapour evaporating when the container itself is filled. Added to the fact that global warming will further increase the evaporation rate when the bottle is opened, we consider this to be more efficient than tap water.
"People buy more bottled water when the weather is warm, therefore we expect more loss into the environment."
Environmentalists and government departments all agree today, issuing a combined statement reflecting the feelings of the water industry.
"We don't no what the F**K your on about"
(if this made u smile, fummb me up!)