Cable Takes on Murdoch

Funny story written by j.w.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

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Cable's Fireworks Coming.

A section of the 'full transcript' of Vince Cable's interview with people he supposed to be his constituents, but in fact were Daily Telegraph reporters, was cut.

It has now been leaked to Robert Peston of the BBC who has put the excised remarks on his blog.

They put Vince Cable's future as a Minister in great doubt as he makes clear his hostility to Rupert Murdoch. As Cable is in a position to block Murdoch's desired takeover of BSkyB - a deal the EU has just given the green light to - his display of 'bias' however understandable means he can hardly adjudicate fairly over Murdoch's bid.

I spoke to Vince, making sure he realised I was a Spoof writer, and he was very open about his feelings.

'Frankly I don't give a fuck if I have to go. Cameron and Clegg are public relation men - shallow and opportunistic. They are trying to change the state of Britain without a mandate - it is something like a Maoist revolution.'

I asked Vince if he regretted apologising for remarks reportedly made asserting he had 'a nuclear option of bringing the Coalition down.'

'What do you think? I wish it had all come out in a different way but I'm ready for the Backbenches. Getting away from that sick prat Osborne will be a great relief.'

'Are you sorry you backed increases in student fees?' I asked.

'I couldn't stay in Government and back the students. But if I am on the backbenches you can expect some fireworks!'

'No nuclear war then?'

'Perhaps not - I have another option: join the Labour Party and become the Chancellor of the Exchequer after the election next year.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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