Written by Lady Godiva

Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Deputy PM Nick Clegg - said to be angry about colleague Vince Cable's Strictly Come Dancing appearance - was told to "get a life" by Ann Widdecombe, yesterday
Nick Clegg's right foot, taken by a Primark shopper earlier this week

DEPUTY PM Nick Clegg - said to be angry about colleague Vince Cable's Strictly Come Dancing appearance - was told to "get a life" by Ann Widdecombe, yesterday

Rumour has it that Nick is merely jealous because he has two left feet and couldn't find a partner to dance with him on this series of "Strictly". Seeing Vince with a beautiful woman draped over him on t.v. was just more than Nick could bear.

He swore at his t.v., kicked the cat, which landed on the goldfish bowl, spilling contents everywhere. His housekeeper made him clean up the mess. He did so readily, as Hildergard would have made him pay the price had he refused.

A source tells us that Nick has secretly signed up for ballroom-dancing lessons with Lionel Blair, to prepare for the next season of "Strictly". He was seen in Primark recently, trying on black patent leather lace-ups.

Colleagues of Nick tell us that he is walking around with a slight 'skip' in his step of late. One colleague told us,

"Nick doesn't 'walk around' anymore, it's more like a glide."

Time will tell!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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