Bernie Ecclestone mugged

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Bernie Ecclestone mugged
Ecclestone is behind the money in F1

Formula One Supremo and closet bondage aficionado, Berie Ecclestone, has been mugged outside his offices in London. Although jewellery and cash estimated to be about two hundred pounds in loose change was stolen, police believe this to be a cover for the real motive of the mugging.

"If we were looking at a plain mugging," said detective inspector Jim Wedgewood, "we would have expected them to also take his credit cards, mobile phone and shoes. The recent spate of muggings in this area have all taken the victims shoes so that the victims cannot give chase."

Wedgewood believes that the perpetrators have used these muggings as an excuse to beat the crap out of Ecclestone.

"I believe this is a hate crime, pure and simple," said Wedgewood, who is a big fan of Criminal Minds. "The Unsubs have a personal hatred of Ecclestone and have the perfect excuse to beat him up, covering the crime with a robbery to throw the cops off the scent."

Unfortunately, the hate crime aspect has opened up the suspect pool exponentially. A lot of people dislike the man behind the commercialisation of Forumla One, with his predilections for bondage with German speaking prostitutes.

"What he does in his spare time is his own business," said Wedgewood. "Helga is very good at what she does. I use her. I can't believe that it is his sexual activities that have led to this hate crime, I believe it is some disgruntled fans that believe Schumaker should have won the drivers championship."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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