Fabio Capello and Avram Grant are to swap places in a deal which will stun the football world.
England's manager, recovering from another brilliant display in England's friendly against France, said from his hospital bed: 'After taking England from A to B the temptation of a change to a Premier League club like West Ham was too hard to refuse.'
With astonishing speed West Ham's manager, Avram Grant, was being ushered into the England Manager's seat. 'It's the only way to get Scott Parker, Matthew Upson, Bob Green and Mark Noble into the England side' he told me in a phone call from his taxi moving speedily towards the Wembley Stadium.
Trevor Brooking, who masterminded this extraordinary swap, spoke on behalf of the nation and West Ham. 'I have been in love secretly with West Ham Vice Chairman Karren Brady for some time. She won my heart by insisting on being called Vice Chairman, not Vice Chair of Vice Chairperson. How can you refuse the advances of a woman with that sort of courage?'
Avram Grant's great record in Cup competitions has made him the obvious choice to take on England's bid for European and World Cup glory. Likewise Fabio Capello is a natural for West Ham as he will then face week after week how stupid he has been to ignore the talents of Scott Parker in recent years.