Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Defence Cuts: Defending The Indefensible

A naval authority has sprung to the defence of the Goverment cuts in military spending.

We reported last week that maritime affairs expert Rear Admiral Morton Vulgar-Fraction, RN (Retd) was horrified at the cuts which would see no jet aircraft taking off from Royal Navy aircraft carriers for ten years.

He was also worried about the cancellation of the Nimrod anti-submarine reconnaissance aircraft.

Nelson was probably spinning in his grave, he argued.

But a contemporary of the Rear Admiral's, Vice Admiral Terence St. John Decimal-Place takes the opposite view.

"I don't know what all the fuss is about, dammit!

"Look here, so there are no aircraft on the carriers and Nimrod has been cancelled. Ring a bell with anyone?

"Oh come on, wake up at the back! It means we are without an arm and minus an eye. Anyone?

"Just like Nelson, for Heaven's sake! Didn't stop him kicking Johnny Foreigner's backside, did it - deficiency in the eye and arm departments!

"Demned good show, if you ask me. Will make these modern johnnies have to show a bit of gumption.

"Bit of tradition is good for the service."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
39 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more