Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for Boob Job On Benefits Mum Named 'Entrepreneur Of The Year'
Me Mate Dave.

Young single mum, Kelly Marshall from Cornwall, who has five kids by four different fathers and has never worked a day in her life was today named 'Entrepreneur Of The Year' by Sir Alan Saccharine.

Kelly, who funded breast augmentation surgery out of her benefit payments also announced that she intends to have liposuction, a tummy tuck, a nose job, and tattooed eyebrows - all on benefits.

Sir Alan said she was a shining example of enterprise culture, and added that anyone who has a flat screen TV in every room and a lovely pair of big plastic tits on benefits can't be all bad.

The tabloids ripped into Kelly, describing her as a shameless scrounger, and an old boiler, but we spoke to some local men who know Kelly and they were delighted for her.

"She's a lovely lassie," one man told us. "She's a good mum, and very smart with money. When she walks down the street in town wearing a low cut top and flashing all that lovely cleavage, she raises the temperature a bit I can tell you. And although I haven't been there yet, me mate Dave tells me she sucks like a Dyson on full power in the car park of the Bull and Butcher."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Benefits

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