The Government is so impressed with the Pope's apology for the crimes of his priests towards young people that they are seeking the same from prisoners throughout the land.
'When they say they are sorry for what they have done and how ashamed they are we shall release them so they can begin a new life' explained David Cameron 'we will then be able to reduce the expenditure on prisons and can increase funding for the police so that we can deal with the work shy shirkers who refuse to get jobs.'
The Archbisop of Canterbury sunk to his knees before the Pontiff and exclaimed 'Benny, my friend, welcome to our land of peace. Your words have clarified the mysteries of the world.'
The Pope's words were lost in the general hubbub but it was realised that he had said something profound.
'What a wonderful success this trip has been' announced a Papal representative 'we have learnt from your Bankers how to deal with a terrible problem. Apologise and say how ashamed we are - then life continues as before but with a problem solved.'