Written by Jimi King

Wednesday, 15 September 2010


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image for Pied Piper Paedophile: 130 Dead
The interior of the cave where the children were believed to have been taken

A sick paedophile has today been accused of the horrific rape and murder of 130 children.

The man in question, aged 35 from Hamelin, is said to have lured the children aged 8 and under away from their homes by the use of a supposed "magic pipe." It is not yet known whether this magic pipe was in fact a euphemism for an alternative appendage. It is believed that he later took the children in question, (who shall not be named for legal reasons), to a nearby cave, where he proceeded to violently ravage and later murder them.

A police spokesman said in a short statement earlier: "This is one of the worst cases of mass homicide of children I have ever witnessed in my 25 years in the force. We can only offer our most sincere apologies to the families of the victims, and assure them that everything possible is being done to ensure that this man is brought to justice."

"Advanced portal mechanism"

The extent of the paedophile's setup was revealed in an earlier police press conference. The man, given the police codename "Piper," was said to have installed an advanced portal mechanism into the side of a mountain, which allowed him to take the children inside; and which then closed to leave no indication of where they had gone.

A nearby resident who was one of the first to report the incident spoke to us earlier: "It was horrible. I was walking my dog through the woods, as I do every day, when I saw the body of a boy, who couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I will never forget the sight of that, it will haunt me for the rest of my days."

"Sadistic specimen"

The Piper was discovered around 2 hours after the incident was reported, close to the scene of the murders. He is currently being held in Belmarsh High Security Prison, awaiting a trial date from the Crown Prosecution Service.

What can only be hoped is that this sadistic specimen is given his just desserts as quickly as possible.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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