Tony Blair was noticeably absent from the line up of world leaders during the VE Day celebrations in Moscow on Sunday.
Rather than honour the brave young men and women who gave their lives for the freedom of future generations, Blair spent the day traipsing round Homebase and B&Q with wife, Cherie, getting paint and fabric swatches.
Cherie Blair QC was known to have been incensed that husband, Tony, was re-elected, especially after she had urged him to send troops to Iraq as a sure-fire way for him to lose out on May 5th.
She was overheard telling the now 3 times winner of the Mr UK competition that the nonsense surrounding the WMD fiasco was bound to see them out of the pokey mid-terrace house especially as she has had her eye on a lovely 5-bed mock Tudor detached house on a development just off the A14 with a double garage and an option on a conservatory or Mediterranean-style patio with built-in barbeque.
"Of course, now she's staying put for a few more years, she's determined to re-decorate the place. She's mad on ‘House Doctor' and those kinds of home improvement programmes," said a former staff member. "She's been begging Gordon Brown's wife to go on ‘Changing Rooms' for ages."
A Mr. C. Kennedy, shopping in B&Q at the time said, "Mrs. Blair seemed to be very interested in neutral shades with a satin finish that could be easily wiped clean. Mr. Blair seemed pretty taken with one of those infrared cable detector thingies. He also spent some time looking at flat pack furniture and feigned a smile when the assistant manager asked him if he was thinking about getting a new cabinet."
The Rt. Hon. Michael Howard MP, who had put off creosoting his fence as a mark of respect to those who fell in WWII, was not impressed by Blair's lack of priorities. "It's is inexcusable that he didn't attend the Moscow celebrations," he fumed. "Most of the major DIY shops are open until 8pm most nights and even have websites so you can shop online, usually with free delivery AND an extra 10% off."
Interior designer and flamboyant fop, Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen, was not available for comment. "He's just nipped to Jewson's for a sheet of MDF," said an overly-cheerful Scottish woman.
