John James , Josie split over JLS contraception clash

Funny story written by Amie Watson

Saturday, 11 September 2010


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another BB love gone wrong...

Today, the world went into mass depression at the news of a horrendous, dark break-up between Big Brother lovers John James Parton and Josie Gibson.

The split, which has been described as 'devastating' and 'heartbreaking', was caused by an argument between the lovers during a phone call in the early hours of the morning after the BB Final.

Josie, 25, spoke to John James on the phone from the Big Brother after party on Friday night. The self confessed randy mare had had several drinks too many, so was not hesitating to let the truth slip out of the 'biggest mouth in Bristol'.

A BB producer told us exclusively "Josie was in such a state after the phone call. I can't believe that John James would do that to her. It's just not fair. I always knew he was a bad egg...

"The Aussie b*stard had told the poor girl he wanted her straight home, and that he had bought a pack of JLS condoms..."

Our source struggled to stop the tears as she continued to tell the story...

"Josie had told him earlier that day... how much she can't stand Marvin... he'd only gone and bought a pack of Marvins. She was devastated. They tried to work it out... John eventually told her he wouldn't mind going back out to get some Astons, despite having a strong dislike for the colour purple... but for Josie it was over. She couldn't stop the tears."

Another source has told us she overheard Josie crying to a friend in the toilets saying

"I can't believe he chose Marvin! I thought he knew me. I mean, you spend 3 months in a house with someone, you expect them to know you, I was clearly wrong. I don't know if I can be with someone like that... it hurts too much."

H'obviously, the John James and Josie thread on Digital Spy is in meltdown at the news. Several members have evacuated the thread through the fire exit, and some hide in the attic gently rocking themselves to sleep. They are all currently in protest against JLS condoms, especially Marvin's.

Is this the end of John James and Josie? Is this the end of JLS' contraception range? Only time will tell, but until then, all we can do is pray that they can find a way to amend this situation of doom.

Local trouble-maker, Shanny Pepper's wise words on the situation are

"I can see why John would disagree with wearing a purple Aston condom, that would really knock his confidence. It's a sad situation, I have never trusted or been a fan of JLS personally... I suppose they were just trying to keep up with the latest trend."

The four JLS condom wrappers (colour co-ordinated, of course) are part of the band's Just Love Safe range. They were unveiled yesterday at the launch of the JLS Foundation, the band's charity promoting safe sex. They are available in all good stores.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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