Tempers were frayed last night at the live recording of one of English TV's more successful faux intellectual quiz shows.
Rumours were rife that openly gay chairperson and full time luvie, Stephanie Fry, had earlier cornered mild mannered regular contestant Alison Davies in the public urinal facilities, where Fry is alleged to have asked Davies to join him in a lewd act involving a jar of Bovril and length of rubber hose £2.70 a metre from most large DIY outlets.
Davies is said to have been later seen running through TV offices with his hands over his rectum, and a look of terror on his boyish features.
Fellow contestant Jo Brandysnap told me: 'Stephanie is six feet seven inches tall, whilst Alison is a mere four foot three. It ain't gonna happen. Steph would split him like a kipper.' Brandysnap offered to take Alison's place at the aforementioned urinal, but was rebuffed by Fry with a cutting remark about lard and whales.
This is not the first time that Fry has been in trouble like this. In fact it has been suggested that the 'C' list celeb courts controversy wherever he deigns to mince. Finding solace for his gender confusion in the company of diametrically opposed members of society.
He was even seen on London's Mayfair with a dwarf on each arm, and one on his head. He has also been spotted deep in conversation with visually challenged MP David Blunkett's guide dog, 'Braindonor', for whom he is reputed to have a 'crazed infatuation'.
Fry refused to comment, but offered to buy our reporter a 'rum and pep'.
