Child Care Experts Consulted Over Clegg After Cameron Birth

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

image for Child Care Experts Consulted Over Clegg After Cameron Birth
Mrs Simnel-Cake (left... or is it right?)

Coalition Government chiefs have been consulting child behavioural experts since Samantha Cameron gave birth yesterday.

They are concerned that with all the attention that's bound to be lavished on the new daughter, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg will develop "new baby syndrome."

"We can't have him running around Westminster bullying the other members of the Government," said one insider. "Parents and teachers often see this kind of behaviour when there's an addition to the brood.

"And of course there's a chance he might start doing dangerous things just to attract attention - like increasing spending on defence, or creating Quangos left, right and, er, centre."

Miranda Simnel-Cake, head of national nursery chain, told us: "Clearly a Deputy Prime Minister can easily feel he's been replaced in the happy parents' affections.

"Obviously, David and Samantha have a duty of care to the new little one, but they must take care to give Nicky plenty of attention.

"And they will need to keep him busy - plenty of work and lots of jobs that can make him feel important.

"Otherwise, I'm afraid he might just run away to people who appear to love him more."

(Additional reporting by Giggsy).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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