Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

image for An Underwear Bomber Apprehended in Buckingham Palace
Reginald St. Wickersham, the Buckingham Palace guard who helped apprehend the Underwear Bomber.

LONDON - One of Saudi Arabia's most experienced underwear bombers Hadri Abu Knacka Knicka was apprehended in Buckingham Palace.

Alert palace guards were able to ascertain that the individual who was acting strangely and walking even stranger actually had a seven pound explosive device hidden in the crotch of his boxer shorts.

Long time palace guard Reginald St. Wickersham said that he knew right away that something was amiss when he saw Abu Knacka Knicka walking with a slight limp.

St. Wickersham remembered that he had seen Hadri out in the parking lot and that he was walking perfectly, but that was due to the fact that he had not placed the seven pound explosive device in his underwear at the time.

Hadri was approached by St. Wickersham and two other palace guards, Ackerley Twickenfalter and Heathcliff Brixham and asked to lower his pants.

Abu Knacka Knicka said that he was very shy and that he did not want to comply with their request which he said rather bordered on the gay side side.

Hadri was asked again and once again he refused. This time St. Wickersham pounced on him, knocking him down to the imported Italian marble floor. Twickenfalter held him down while Brixham and St. Wickersham unbuckled his pants, pulled down his zipper, and lowered his pants.

St. Wickersham then asked all the lady tourists who were present to please avert there eyes as they were going to remove Hadri's boxer shorts.

All of the women complied except for 79-year-old Bertha Shattuck of Tooting, who said that she had never married, or even had a boyfriend and she just wanted to see what a man's welly (pecker) looked like.

SIDENOTE: The three palace guards placed Hadri Abu Knacka Knicka in an unmarked car and drove off in the vicinity of Windsor Castle. They returned a few hours later and never again spoke of Mr. Abu Knacka Knicka.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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